I get it mama. It’s hard to do all the things. I don’t even have a newborn and here I sit still…on the struggle bus.
We load so much onto our plates. Homeschooling. Full time photography business. Baseball. Keeping a household of seven alive. It’s a lot. It’s hard to do all the things. Yet nothing can be dropped. The kids have to be educated. The galleries have to be edited. The emails have to be responded to and the phone calls need to be returned. That orthodontist appointment isn’t going to attend itself…I gotta oversee the teeth being brushed, loading the kids, even the one straggling behind trying to pee and get his shoes on at the same time, into the car and make the drive so the braces situation gets attended to. Sometimes I feel my head spinning and there’s no one who can carry this entire load. Only myself, seemingly. It’s hard to do all the things.
You know what helps though? Knowing that we’re not going it alone. I’ve got a maternity session tonight so grandma is taking the boy to baseball practice. If I couldn’t have swung the ortho today, I bet my dad could’ve jumped in and taken my place. It takes a village to do life these days and, as much as I hate asking for or accepting help, I’ve learned that it’s necessary. Not only that but people LIKE to be able to help if they have the time and are able. It fills the cup as much to help as it does to BE helped.
I remember when I had my first baby. People told me to sleep when the baby slept and I laughed. Who was going to do that sink full of dishes or prep dinner that night? Who was going to vacuum up the hay bales of dog hair if I laid down to nap? It simply wasn’t in my personality to rest when something needed to be done and PLEASE BELIEVE THAT THIS IS NOT ME PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK, like look what a superhero I was. NOPE. Trust me that I learned over the years that the house may be sparkling and the dinner may get served right at 6:00 but no one is happy if mama ain’t happy and mama won’t be happy running on an empty tank. It took me YEARS to learn this lesson. And, truthfully, I still hate asking for help. I do it anyway. Because it’s hard to do all the things.
New moms: I see you. Life will never again be what it was before baby and that’s GREAT. It will be fuller and happier and messier and loaded with angst and giggles and sweet moments and constant noise. It will be what you make it and you have permission to ask for help. It’s hard to do all the things which is why we were not meant to live in a bubble. Ask for help and you will receive it. Hugs and love to you ❤️
If you loved seeing sweet baby Madelyn as a newborn, check out her adorable sitter session here!
Liz Viernes Photography is based near Ashton, Maryland, and specializes in maternity, fresh 48, posed and lifestyle newborns and first year milestone portraits.